Pro Tips
Welcome to my random musings about the world, on a weekly-to-occasional basis.
Where we are: This is our last weekend in Paris; we leave on Monday for North Carolina. I’m sad to be leaving one of my very favorite-est cities in the world, but the foot is an increasing nuisance, so it’s time to go deal with it. Plus—we get to see our people! And have ice in our beverages! Clearly, I’m having all the feelz.
Pro Tips
I have compiled, just for y’all, a few of my favorite travel tips. These are next level:
Never walk between a pile of garbage and a wall. You want to give the rats a wide berth.
Pack a bit of electrical tape (just wrap some around the end of a pen). A little snip is super-handy for covering up the blinking red light on the smoke detector.
Pack an extension cord. The outlet is never where it ought to be.
Fight jet lag. Or don’t. Your choice. (Especially if you’re going to have to quarantine when you arrive—sleep schedules are irrelevant in quarantine.)
Say thank you in the local language, no matter how much you think you’re mangling it.
If you need to print something, go to the front desk of a fancy hotel. It doesn’t matter that you aren’t staying there—just act like you own the place. Better yet, figure out how to use the local Internet cafe.
Always wear socks to the airport—going through security barefoot is disgusting. But on the other hand—don’t just automatically take your shoes off. A lot (most?) of the rest of the world doesn’t bother with such silliness.
Keep a packet of balloons in your bag or purse; they’re useful for entertaining cranky children in airports. (But maybe not during Covid—no one wants you handing their kid a bag full of hot air and virus.)
Always have a little packet of emergency nuts in your carry-on. They’re useful when you get hangry, plus they’re entertaining. The jokes about ‘emergency nuts’ just write themselves.
Say yes. (Unless it’s a guy on the street trying to sell you ‘happy pizza.’ Say no to that.)
Sit for a while.
Try the restaurant that doesn’t have an English menu. You may wind up with a bowl of chicken feet, but at least it’ll be memorable. Besides—you can always go back to the hotel and eat your emergency nuts.
Stay in an apartment, away from the hotel zone.
Touts are much less bothersome if you wear earbuds. You don’t have to actually play anything; it’s okay to pretend.
A snack and a nap make everything better (I think that’s from one of those feel-good-wisdom books, but that doesn’t make it any less true).
Ride the public transport at least once.
Go to the mall—it’s where the normal people are.
Go to the grocery store, even if you don’t need anything. See above: normal people.
Shake out your shoes before you put them on. You don’t want creepy-crawlies—or pebbles—in your shoes.
When you get tired of churches/mosques/temples/museums—just stop. You can’t see them all, so why try?
When a taxi driver asks where you’re from, answer, then ask where he/she is from. Ninety percent of the time, you’ll get a huge grin, even if the conversation then clunks to a halt. We had this experience in a restaurant last weekend. The waiter asked where we were from, we told him, and asked where he was from. “Paris,” he said, and pointed. “The next block. But my girlfriend’s from Cleveland.” The rest of our meal was a delight, and the service was fantastic.
If you ask a taxi driver for a restaurant recommendation, there’s a 50/50 chance you’ll be invited home for some of Mom’s cooking. That might be what you want, or it might not—we all have different comfort levels.
Don’t order gazpacho if the refrigeration seems iffy. I did that once, and I lived to tell the tale, but I won’t do it again.
Buy something at the market. Take your time, watch what other people do, be fully present in the place. Again, it’s probably where the normal people are.
Avoid monkeys. They will pee on your Kindle and try to steal your snacks. Trust me on this.
When someone tries to teach you how to sing/dance/pronounce/cut your food/tie your longyi/cover your head, pay attention and count your blessings. Engaging with other humans is the best part of travel.
Don’t worry that people are judging you. They haven’t even noticed you, but if they have, they’re probably just curious about who you are and where you’re from.
Read a book set in the place where you are, while you’re there. I can’t recommend this enough—it will enrich your experience more than seems possible.
Look both ways for cars, motorcycles, bicycles, scooters, rickshaws, cows. Always look both ways; rogue transport will come from where you least expect it. I used to believe that my obituary was going to be ‘run over by a bicycle.’ (Nowadays I’m pretty certain it’s going to be ‘fell in a sewer and died.’)
Always, always be polite.
It’s okay to sit some more.
Take care,
Lisa
P.S. Thanks for reading, and feel free to share. If you have feedback, I’d love to hear it. And if someone forwarded this to you, thank them for me, and go to https://bookwoman.com/ to subscribe.